My wife and I moved into a new development soon after we were married. We became friendly with the family that was having their home built next to ours. We became fast friends with them and their children. This wonderful family was very supportive to me while my wife was ill and in the hospital for 8 months.
Brian, who is 16 years old, had to write an essay for school. After writing it, he printed a copy for his parents to read. After I read it, I though nothing would be more appropriate than to share it with you. This essay was written on September 25th, 2001.
"A Tribute"
Throughout the sixteen years of my life, I have heard many stories about certain people and experiences that have changed people and their outlook on life. The people who have told these interesting and attention-grabbing stories, usually my friends and classmates, talked about how these people and experiences had a tremendous impact on them and made them more mature. The recurring theme in each story has been coming out of adolescence as a better person, either emotionally, spiritually, mentally, or some other way. This coming out of adolescence is essential in one's growth and maturity. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would have a story that would be comparable to one of my peer's stories. Just recently, I realized that, in fact, I would.
When I was younger, between the ages of seven and fourteen, I was an obnoxious and uncompassionate person. I have come to grips with this fact after much self-reflection. You could find no other person that was critical as I was. Whenever I saw overweight people, I would snicker and make fun of them to others. The word "fat" and other cruel references were frequently used words in my vocabulary. Now I realize how mean I was. I learned that the reason why I was so judgmental was because I was insecure with myself and put down overweight people so I would feel better about myself. Also, the way I acted was a desperate attempt to fit in with kids my age by making them laugh at the expense of others. A quick change occurred in my attitude toward others when I met a very special person.
Two years ago, my house was in the process of being built in a new eleven-home development in New York, on Long Island. Every weekend, my family and I would visit the site to see the gradual progress that our house had underwent the prior week. This got very boring after a while, since there was a period of time (about seven weeks) where no progress had occurred. One Saturday that we had made our family trip to the house, we were greeted by our new next-door neighbor. He was great to have around and talk to when we visited, and he ended our boredom. He was very warm and kind to us and welcomed us to the neighborhood. That day, he also welcomed us to his home, which was only a few months old. He showed us around his house and introduced us to his wife. She was thrilled to meet us, since we were the first neighbors she had met on the new block. I liked her instantly and got past the fact that she was extremely overweight.
From that day on, she was a "second mother" to my sister and I and a new friend to my parents. She would have my family and I over for dinner, and had us sleep there a few times, so we would not have to go all the way back to our house, which was about an hour away. Since she didn't go out of her house a lot because of her weight, my sister and I would cook, play games, and have fun with her. We were inseparable. I remember making her laugh hysterically by making up words in scrabble and entertaining her by doing impressions and telling jokes. We had become extremely close. When my family and I eventually moved into our house, I would visit her everyday after school. Right after our move, she started to consider having gastric bypass surgery. She wanted to be able to live a normal life and not be confined to one place. Soon enough, she made up her mind and opted to go through with the procedure. I was happy for her, not thinking for a moment about the dangers that the operation entailed. The operation was supposedly successful, but her prior health problems (diabetes, paralyzed diaphragm, etc.), along with medical neglect, caused her to be in intensive care and transferred from one hospital to another for almost a full year. I did not get to see her that whole time, and this saddened and depressed me. The only way I could still have a connection with her was having her husband keep my Father Chaminade medal by her bedside. Sadly and unfortunately, She passed away, after a long struggle, two months ago. My great experience with a wonderful person ended in the blink of an eye.
My growth from an immature adolescent, up until now, has been drastic. I have experienced life and learned from it. I was touched deeply, in a short amount of time, by an incredible, generous, and loving human being. She is one of the inspirations for my "right of passage" story that I continue to tell many people. She helped me to become a better person and made me realize that I needed to get past physical appearance and accept a person for who they are. I learned that what is inside of a person is the only thing that counts. She became part of my family and was an excellent mentor. I owe much thanks to her for helping me to mature and treat others better. I will never forget her; she will forever be in my thoughts and prayers.